OMG. omg. omg. I recently saw the absolute worst piece of theater I've ever experienced in my life. Now, due to certain contractual stipulations (very seriously), I am not at liberty to discuss any real details about this production. But I cannot let this one go. So I will talk around it.
The truth is, there wasn't a single GOOD element in the entire production. From the leading actor (who has many Broadway credits, strangely) to the lighting design, the whole thing was a disaster. I had to leave. I was physically nausiated and had a headache. When I left, there were MANY others who walked out as well (and this was after 30 minutes - i couldn't even wait until intermission) and they were all just laughing at how pathetic it was.
This "staged reading" couldn't have been less staged - the actors were simply wandering around like lost children. They were waving their arms noncommitedly and constantly throwing lines away. High school actors have better instincts than these people.
The harmonies were DISGUSTING when they were actually attempted, which wasn't very often. Cut-offs were sloppy and there was no semblance of balance. This is spoken by a musical IDIOT. if I can tell there is a problem with the music, there is a HUGE problem. My ears are not very sensitive and I have virtually no music education. The role that is the soprano ingenue was sung by a girl who BELTED her part with a crazy vibratto and had an almost country twang to her vowels. it was AWFUL. The supporting role who is an operatic soprano was sung TWO full octaves down from what is written. YUCk. pointless.
The lights. OMG. the lights. If the facility you are using doesn't have a workable light grid, just bathe everyone in white light. We, the audience, don't mind. I assure you. As long as we can see them, we are not that picky. Instead, whoever designed the light decided to "blanket" every scene in a ridiculous color. A romantic engagement party was bathed in yellow. YELLOW. Everyone looked ill. A street scene was bathed in green. Everyone looks evil in green. I just don't get it! You should really never bathe the stage in any one color. I don't design lights and I know this.
Ultimately, I have no idea how much rehearsal or production time this show had. I don't really care. At the end of the day, if I had handed the libretti to my friends, they could have SIGHT READ the entire show much better than the actors and musicians on stage. Give me ONE HOUR and I could have directed the show better. It's totally inexcusable to charge people $50 for absolute crap.
Oh, and let's talk about the box office for one second before I lose my steam - I bought the tickets online. The e-ticket said to come to the box office an hour before show time to exchange it for a "real" ticket. Ok? fine, I guess. I show up and they said they would not open the doors until 30 minutes before show time. Then why put on the ticket to show up an hour early? no biggie. I went for drinks. The doors didn't open until 5 minutes AFTER the scheduled start time. Then everyone had to wait in line to exchange what should have been a perfectly valid e-ticket (had a barcode and everything) for a paper ticket. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? I cannot even tell you how annoying it is to deal with absolute idiots who aren't even qualified to work at McDonalds. How could you not open the box office until AFTER the show is supposed to start??? Again, high school theaters are run better than that.
I've never in my life had such a bad experience at the theater. Disgusting.
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