KITTEN!!!!!!

I got the cutest little baby kitten!! OMG! Now, I hate going to shelters because I can't stand to leave knowing all the precious little babies will die. I just want to take them all home! But I was smart this time - i looked at the cats online every day for a week and then...then...HE popped up. This precious little baby boy all gray and white with super long whiskers. I went to the shelter immediately and told them I wanted HIM and no one else. Even though all the other babies cried and pawed at me, I was strong. I left with HIM. The shelter named him Jene which is lame and I thought of changing it to Jean Valjean cuz that's the same but better. Ultimately, after much debate and discussion I settled on Mercutio. Tiny tiny 2lb, 2 month old Mercutio. My other cat hates him but they will be friends before too long.

Let me tell what is so amazing about having a tiny kitten in the house - he is SUPER cute, he rides around on my shoulder most of the time (we cook and wash dishes like that), and he sleeps on my neck. Every time I walk through a room, he's right under my feet. he loves me!



So yes now I have three babies and my house feels quite full. Bunny Todd is a 5 year old rabbit who is boring most of the time but occassionally be bathes or yawns and is super cute. Irina is a 4 year old cat with gorgeous green eyes and an opera star voice. And little Mercutio. *sigh* I love my children!

Birthdays

For weddings, people have that saying "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue." It's supposed to be good luck to have these items on you when you walk down the aisle. Though every single bride i know (and I worked at a bridal shop for a year and a half so i know a lot...) follows these rules and still half of the marriages end. It doesn't seem to debunk the myth, though. People enjoy following these types of rituals. there's a strange safety to it.

And as I have just finished the largest birthday extravaganza of my life (well, that's not really true...there's one last party tonight), I was wondering why there isn't a list of bday rules. I mean, everyone agrees that you should eat cake and not care. That's kind of a given. But other than that, nothing. I certainly have a checklist each year. This year I checked everything off...

acquire (by ill means) a man's shirt: check
drink shots in a number that matches your age: check
tell everyone on the street that you pass that it is your birthday: check
make out with a stranger: double check
demand that people do things for you they don't want to: triple check

but it's not the same as having a rhyming saying. Hmmm. Let's see: yeah nope my brain isn't working well enough. Still very hungover i spose...

bowties

I think bowties are the absolute cutest things in the entire world. I love a man who wears a bowtie. I trust men who wear bowties. You never see villains or terrorists or rapists wearing bowties. You see broadway studs, grandpas, and socially awkward/adorable men wearing bowties.

and it's one fashion thing that works equally well on poor people and rich people. How weird is that? You can wear a bowtie with town kickers and suspenders and a dirty t-shirt. That's hot. That's newsies. It's also an essential element of a tuxedo...

i want my next date to wear a bowtie. I really do.

subway men

OK. So I love Subway. I do. Food is good, cheap, and usually the "sandwich artists" are competent. But there is a Subway down the street from my school and I hate it!!! The workers could not be stupider. At first, I thought it was me. Maybe my voice isn't loud enough (yeah right). Maybe I was talking too fast (very possible). Maybe they were having a bad day. but literally EVERY time i go in there, this is what happens:

ME: Can I get a footlong tuna sub on italian bread?
GUY: What kind of bread?
ME: ...Italian?
GUY: what kind of meat?
ME: TUNA!
GUY: did you say a footlong?
ME: YES!!!! YES I DID!

I know fast food workers have to deal with all manner of rude, stupid, and hem-hawy individuals. But me; I'm simple. I know what I want. I order with clarity and speed. I expect my efficiency to be matched and when it is not, I am ANGRY.

about Mark Sanford

REALLY?! Are you effing kidding me? You had the audacity to disappear for a week without telling anyone where you were because you thought they WOULDNT NOTICE and then have spent every day since then talking about your affair and how GREAT it was. Look, really, we get it. She's hott and Argentinian and would never have talked to you in high school. But this is NOT the time or circumstance for trying to prove to people that you are cool. Stop calling her your soulmate. Stop talking about how in love you guys were. That is soooooo much more offensive than regular cheating!! Really! Ask your wife - I'm sure she feels the same.

i could forgive a guy for cheating on me. In fact, I DID forgive a guy for cheating on me. Shit happens. People get caught up in the moment. But falling in LOVE with someone is disgusting and shameful and unforgiveable. Do what you want with your dick. But your heart should belong to your wife. Period. And WHATEVER the circumstance, don't go PARADING your love around! Don't tell everyone in interviews that you've lost your soulmate but will TRY to fall back in love with your wife. GOD! If that woman has an ounce of sense, she will leave your dumb ass. Really. Now.

I'm sorry if you had no friends in middle school. I'm sorry if you were the last to get laid. I'm sorry that you had to become a politician so that you could gain enough "status" to like yourself. And if that Argentinian woman was impressed by your position in American politics, cool. not my business. SO DONT MAKE IT MY BUSINESS! The only thing you are trying to accomplish by telling me about her is to make me believe you are cool. i do not believe this. GO AWAY! REALLY.