Ok so I have to say this whole NYC dating thing is getting annoying. I never had this problem in NC, but maybe that's because I lived mostly in dorm rooms.
WHY do men think that "make yourself at home" means it literally?? And for the record, I've never ACTUALLY said that phrase to anyone because the truth is that I don't WANT people to make themselves at home in my home. It's MY home. You see?
So if you're into energy conservation, great. Turn all your appliances off in YOUR home. Don't run around MY home turning off my fan (which i have to leave on because otherwise my apt gets way too hot and stuffy) or my lamp (which i have to leave on cuz otherwise my cats sleep all day and stay up all night. bad for me).
If you like to put your feet up on your couch, FINE. But see, in MY house when we are sitting on MY couch, there isn't room for your feet. And that DOESN'T mean they belong on my lap. FUCK NO.
If there is a special show you watch at 11pm each night, awesome. Watch it in YOUR house. In my house, we watch Daily Show at 11pm. DO NOT take my fucking remote. You will lose a hand. And probably your testicles.
And if you like to sleep until 2pm, by all means, stay in YOUR bed until 2pm. In my life, I never have the opportunity to sleep past 10am, so guess what? Your ass is leaving by 10am. And PLEASE don't act like a child when I wake you up. You could have left last night. I, personally, would have preferred that. You wanna stay the night? Play by my rules!
OHH, and one more thing: the temperature in my apartment, insomuch as i CAN control it, will be what makes ME comfortable. You are the guest. YOU adjust.
all of this probably explains why I am currently single, but truthfully I'd MUCH rather be single than constantly compromising with a douchebag who really has no right to stake claims on my space.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
My super special customers
So I love my job. Really I do. And I just got a promotion with a 30% raise so yay.
Since I come from a bridal shop, you'd think I would be used to dealing with irrational customers. And I am. But also not. Because that's annoying. Brides have their own special quirks but you can sort of forgive them since deep down you feel like it MIGHT be you some day acting completely stupid and thinking you're the center of the Universe.
The customers in the store I currently work at have NO excuse. They are not special. So, before I continue, I should just explain the kind of store I work at. It's a specialty shop - you can't come in looking for something specific. You certainly won't find anything you "need." We have fish staplers, sumo wrestler keychains, rainbow toasters, watering can purses and such stuff like that. It's kooky. It's fun.
I CONSTANTLY have people walk into the store and DEMAND in loud and very pushy voices
"I need a gift for a boy. 7. whatdya got?"
"I've got a baby shower coming up and I want something cool. But I don't want to spend more than $5"
"do you have backpacks? I need a backpack. Why don't you carry backpacks? That's so stupid"
"You used to have tissue box covers. I don't see them. Why would you discontinue something like that? I NEED ONE!"
Chill out! It's not that urgent! Have some fun. That's what the store is for. None of this is life or death. THEY ARE FISH STAPLERS AND KITTY UMBRELLAS! If we have them, don't have them, or price them too expensive for your budget, WHO CARES? SERIOUSLY? They're just silly knick knacks.
MY GOD. People say I'm high strung but honestly! The whole damn city of new york is off-the-charts crazy.
Since I come from a bridal shop, you'd think I would be used to dealing with irrational customers. And I am. But also not. Because that's annoying. Brides have their own special quirks but you can sort of forgive them since deep down you feel like it MIGHT be you some day acting completely stupid and thinking you're the center of the Universe.
The customers in the store I currently work at have NO excuse. They are not special. So, before I continue, I should just explain the kind of store I work at. It's a specialty shop - you can't come in looking for something specific. You certainly won't find anything you "need." We have fish staplers, sumo wrestler keychains, rainbow toasters, watering can purses and such stuff like that. It's kooky. It's fun.
I CONSTANTLY have people walk into the store and DEMAND in loud and very pushy voices
"I need a gift for a boy. 7. whatdya got?"
"I've got a baby shower coming up and I want something cool. But I don't want to spend more than $5"
"do you have backpacks? I need a backpack. Why don't you carry backpacks? That's so stupid"
"You used to have tissue box covers. I don't see them. Why would you discontinue something like that? I NEED ONE!"
Chill out! It's not that urgent! Have some fun. That's what the store is for. None of this is life or death. THEY ARE FISH STAPLERS AND KITTY UMBRELLAS! If we have them, don't have them, or price them too expensive for your budget, WHO CARES? SERIOUSLY? They're just silly knick knacks.
MY GOD. People say I'm high strung but honestly! The whole damn city of new york is off-the-charts crazy.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
My Dumbass Apartment
Okkkkkkk. So life is hard at the moment, big surprise. I'm in school full time, working full time, writing a thesis, and i have a baby kitty who WILL NOT let me sleep. Ever. Love him, but GAWD. Oh, right, and I'm still attempting to have a social life. I think it was actually easier when I was in that infamous relationship but i might be getting ahead of myself ;)
SO. This apartment. Which I JUST agreed to pay MORE for because despite all its problems, I love it. Or i did. Let me tell you what happened. It's one of these really-not-a-big-deal-but-sometimes-the-littlest-things-are-the-biggest-deals kind of things.
I come home from a long day of classes AND work yesterday. I have 2 sets of lyrics that I have PROMISED to get to Joel by the time he gets home at midnight. It's 10:20pm and I'm exhausted. I already want to cry because I'm just so damn tired and all I really want is someone to greet me at the door with a glass of wine but I know what is really waiting for me are 2 attention-deprived cats and cold leftovers. And my work.
Well, I walk in the door and all the lights are off. They won't turn on. I mess with the breaker. NOTHING. The whole place is without power. REALLY? Really, God? Really, world? REALLY, expensive apartment that I profess to love? REEEEEEEEALLLLLLLLY?
So i go down to security to beg some help as the minutes to my deadline tick away and the tears build up behind my eyes. The maintenance guy can't fix it. He has to call an electrician. Meantime, all my food has gone bad. ALL of my food. Those cold leftovers don't sound so bad now that I actually can't have them. And my attention deprived kitties are locked in the bedroom so they don't escape the apartment because the door has to be open to let in the hallway light. And they are scratching and crying, but I don't think anyone could hear them above my own crying which had reached FULL force by this time.
It's one of those moments that Carrie Bradshaw occassionally has when I really wished I was married. Then someone else could just HANDLE things. Life is a little much to handle on your own sometimes.
But I set up a workstation in the hallway. My infamous blue chair and blue fuzzy pillow provided the comfort and familiarity I wanted and I plugged my laptop into the hall outlet. The electrician LAUGHED at me when he came out of the elevator after fixing it all up. I was quite a site, I think.
Oh, and once the lights were turned on I saw that my cat puked INSIDE my shoes. not on them or around them. IN them. fun.
Can a girl get a little sleep? Really?
SO. This apartment. Which I JUST agreed to pay MORE for because despite all its problems, I love it. Or i did. Let me tell you what happened. It's one of these really-not-a-big-deal-but-sometimes-the-littlest-things-are-the-biggest-deals kind of things.
I come home from a long day of classes AND work yesterday. I have 2 sets of lyrics that I have PROMISED to get to Joel by the time he gets home at midnight. It's 10:20pm and I'm exhausted. I already want to cry because I'm just so damn tired and all I really want is someone to greet me at the door with a glass of wine but I know what is really waiting for me are 2 attention-deprived cats and cold leftovers. And my work.
Well, I walk in the door and all the lights are off. They won't turn on. I mess with the breaker. NOTHING. The whole place is without power. REALLY? Really, God? Really, world? REALLY, expensive apartment that I profess to love? REEEEEEEEALLLLLLLLY?
So i go down to security to beg some help as the minutes to my deadline tick away and the tears build up behind my eyes. The maintenance guy can't fix it. He has to call an electrician. Meantime, all my food has gone bad. ALL of my food. Those cold leftovers don't sound so bad now that I actually can't have them. And my attention deprived kitties are locked in the bedroom so they don't escape the apartment because the door has to be open to let in the hallway light. And they are scratching and crying, but I don't think anyone could hear them above my own crying which had reached FULL force by this time.
It's one of those moments that Carrie Bradshaw occassionally has when I really wished I was married. Then someone else could just HANDLE things. Life is a little much to handle on your own sometimes.
But I set up a workstation in the hallway. My infamous blue chair and blue fuzzy pillow provided the comfort and familiarity I wanted and I plugged my laptop into the hall outlet. The electrician LAUGHED at me when he came out of the elevator after fixing it all up. I was quite a site, I think.
Oh, and once the lights were turned on I saw that my cat puked INSIDE my shoes. not on them or around them. IN them. fun.
Can a girl get a little sleep? Really?
Friday, September 11, 2009
Politicians who Tweet
Ok, so I'm not on Twitter and I don't anticipate joining anytime soon but as evidenced by this blog and my super active facebook account, you can correctly assume I'm not really against the movement. (Yes, I will call it a movement). HOWEVER, there are certain people who should never, ever use Twitter.
First, celebrities should really cool it. I mean, for some of them - aka the untalented ones - I understand that it's the easier version of going to clubs and making reality shows. Their tweets frequently make the news and that keeps their names known. Ok. Fine. If you have no talent, you have to rely on things like that. But other celebs who HAVE talent should realize that in spite of their talent, they don't usually have a lot of intelligence. And that becomes evident when their thoughts are broadcast. PLEASE. Keep the mystery. It is glamorous. It's sooooo much better to be an actor. Your fans, despite appearances to the contrary, actually do not want to know you as a person. Because as a person, you are simply dumb, shallow, and annoying. As an actor, you are fabulous. Get what I mean? Only say the lines that are written for you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY - politicians should NOT be allowed to Twitter. Particularly during Congressional sessions, speeches, etc. If a kid sat in class and tweeted about what an idiot the teacher is during her lecture, their phone would be taken and they would be reprimanded for disrespect. So WHY is it ok for pols to do this? Their tweets are making a mockery of our entire political system. All of their positions ought to be articulately, clearly communicated in appropriate forums.
I REFUSE to vote for any politician who tweets. This is my new political position. And I'm TOTALLY serious about it. At this point in time, we can all agree that politicians NEVER accomplish what they promise. So campaigning is pointless. I care more what KIND of person you are. And the kind of person who would tweet during important debates, events, etc is NOT the kind of person I want representing me. Because I would never do that. Ever.
First, celebrities should really cool it. I mean, for some of them - aka the untalented ones - I understand that it's the easier version of going to clubs and making reality shows. Their tweets frequently make the news and that keeps their names known. Ok. Fine. If you have no talent, you have to rely on things like that. But other celebs who HAVE talent should realize that in spite of their talent, they don't usually have a lot of intelligence. And that becomes evident when their thoughts are broadcast. PLEASE. Keep the mystery. It is glamorous. It's sooooo much better to be an actor. Your fans, despite appearances to the contrary, actually do not want to know you as a person. Because as a person, you are simply dumb, shallow, and annoying. As an actor, you are fabulous. Get what I mean? Only say the lines that are written for you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY - politicians should NOT be allowed to Twitter. Particularly during Congressional sessions, speeches, etc. If a kid sat in class and tweeted about what an idiot the teacher is during her lecture, their phone would be taken and they would be reprimanded for disrespect. So WHY is it ok for pols to do this? Their tweets are making a mockery of our entire political system. All of their positions ought to be articulately, clearly communicated in appropriate forums.
I REFUSE to vote for any politician who tweets. This is my new political position. And I'm TOTALLY serious about it. At this point in time, we can all agree that politicians NEVER accomplish what they promise. So campaigning is pointless. I care more what KIND of person you are. And the kind of person who would tweet during important debates, events, etc is NOT the kind of person I want representing me. Because I would never do that. Ever.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Groping
What is the recourse for groping? Like seriously what are my legal rights once someone chooses to grope me? Am I within my rites to punch him in the face? Because I OUGHT TO BE! I am completely sick of men thinking they can grab my ass whenever they like. Yeah, ok, it's large and it's out there but HANDS OFF! seriously! And there's so little to do about it. Actually, there is nothing.
I mean, I suppose I could call the cops to report harassment; by the time the 911 operator bothered to pick up the phone, the perp would be long gone and it's not as if an investigation would be (or should be) launched to find him. And suppose the guy HAPPENED to hang around long enough for the cops to come, or by some chance lost his wallet or something so I could ID him, it's still my word against his.
SOOOO let's just say that some creepballer grabs my ass. Then he IMMEDIATELY feels extremely remorseful so he waits around for me to bother the cops and make them come down and he ADMITS his total, complete guilt. What then? Like what is the punishment? He obviously won't (nor should) go to jail. I can't imagine there's a fine for that sort of thing and if there is, that's dumb. The city shouldn't get money, I SHOULD. but then that makes me a sort of prostitute, so maybe not. So what? Community service? a citation?
I guess what I'm saying is that I cannot think of an appropriate legal punishment for groping and TO ME (if you're different, no biggie), it's not a big enough deal to bother the authorities with. I really do think the MOST appropriate thing is for me to punch him. Honestly. Seems like a good trade off. Why doesn't the law work that way? Cuz the truth is, if I punch him, he COULD (and likely would since a groper is always a douchebag) call the cops and I COULD get arrested for battery or whatever. thus, I don't.
But I have been groped MULTIPLE times in the last couple of weeks - not totally sure why. In my whole year in NYC, this has not been a problem. I used to get groped in CH all the time, but that's typical on a frat-tastic campus. What's up with end-of-summer that men choose to grab me ON THE STREETS (not even in a bar situation) and keep walking? And I shout after them like it makes a difference, wishing I had the ability to punch them. because THEN my anger would have an outlet. And he would feel the same level of violation as me. Eye for an eye is not the best way to approach the law, generally speaking, but in this case I like the sound of it.
I mean, I suppose I could call the cops to report harassment; by the time the 911 operator bothered to pick up the phone, the perp would be long gone and it's not as if an investigation would be (or should be) launched to find him. And suppose the guy HAPPENED to hang around long enough for the cops to come, or by some chance lost his wallet or something so I could ID him, it's still my word against his.
SOOOO let's just say that some creepballer grabs my ass. Then he IMMEDIATELY feels extremely remorseful so he waits around for me to bother the cops and make them come down and he ADMITS his total, complete guilt. What then? Like what is the punishment? He obviously won't (nor should) go to jail. I can't imagine there's a fine for that sort of thing and if there is, that's dumb. The city shouldn't get money, I SHOULD. but then that makes me a sort of prostitute, so maybe not. So what? Community service? a citation?
I guess what I'm saying is that I cannot think of an appropriate legal punishment for groping and TO ME (if you're different, no biggie), it's not a big enough deal to bother the authorities with. I really do think the MOST appropriate thing is for me to punch him. Honestly. Seems like a good trade off. Why doesn't the law work that way? Cuz the truth is, if I punch him, he COULD (and likely would since a groper is always a douchebag) call the cops and I COULD get arrested for battery or whatever. thus, I don't.
But I have been groped MULTIPLE times in the last couple of weeks - not totally sure why. In my whole year in NYC, this has not been a problem. I used to get groped in CH all the time, but that's typical on a frat-tastic campus. What's up with end-of-summer that men choose to grab me ON THE STREETS (not even in a bar situation) and keep walking? And I shout after them like it makes a difference, wishing I had the ability to punch them. because THEN my anger would have an outlet. And he would feel the same level of violation as me. Eye for an eye is not the best way to approach the law, generally speaking, but in this case I like the sound of it.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
About MANAGERS
Ok, people say the Office is so popular because all bosses are like Michael Scott. I don't really know about that because I have never worked in that kind of environment. I HAVE worked lots of pool and retail jobs. And I will tell you that all managers are the same. And it's INCREDIBLE how dumb they are.
Scheduling is easy. Like, REALLY easy. Hours have so many days. People have so much availability. Simple puzzle. Simple math. WHY do managers act like it is the most difficult thing in the world. I have managed large staffs. I have directed VERY large casts. It's funny - a lot of college directors refuse to cast actors with conflicts. I don't care how many conflicts you have; I'll work around you.
Product knowledge can ONLY be acquired over time. Trying to shove it in people's heads in 2 hours is dumb. Now, understand, it isn't "overwhelming" or "discouraging." To say this is patronizing. It simply will take more than once through to absorb everything. And honestly, I'd probably learn it better without you.
STOP ASKING ME IF THIS IS FUN. It's not that it isn't. I like working. It's that it is unimportant. As long as I have a good attitude and natural ability, why do you care if I'm slitting my wrists in the bathroom?
The truth is, the reason that these rather dumb, sad individuals become store managers is because the job is EVERYTHING to them. It IS fun. And it WAS super hard for them to learn the products so they are REALLY excited to teach it to others because they are so proud. Good for them. They all seem very happy. But MOST of us, even if we like our job and our coworkers, would rather be somewhere else during our work hours. We go to work because we HAVE to. Given the choice, we'd rather be out with friends. Or sleeping. Or watching tv.
blah. BUT I do think this job will stick. So yay for the replenishment of my fun fund. And goodbye to my summer of awesomeness.
Scheduling is easy. Like, REALLY easy. Hours have so many days. People have so much availability. Simple puzzle. Simple math. WHY do managers act like it is the most difficult thing in the world. I have managed large staffs. I have directed VERY large casts. It's funny - a lot of college directors refuse to cast actors with conflicts. I don't care how many conflicts you have; I'll work around you.
Product knowledge can ONLY be acquired over time. Trying to shove it in people's heads in 2 hours is dumb. Now, understand, it isn't "overwhelming" or "discouraging." To say this is patronizing. It simply will take more than once through to absorb everything. And honestly, I'd probably learn it better without you.
STOP ASKING ME IF THIS IS FUN. It's not that it isn't. I like working. It's that it is unimportant. As long as I have a good attitude and natural ability, why do you care if I'm slitting my wrists in the bathroom?
The truth is, the reason that these rather dumb, sad individuals become store managers is because the job is EVERYTHING to them. It IS fun. And it WAS super hard for them to learn the products so they are REALLY excited to teach it to others because they are so proud. Good for them. They all seem very happy. But MOST of us, even if we like our job and our coworkers, would rather be somewhere else during our work hours. We go to work because we HAVE to. Given the choice, we'd rather be out with friends. Or sleeping. Or watching tv.
blah. BUT I do think this job will stick. So yay for the replenishment of my fun fund. And goodbye to my summer of awesomeness.
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